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| Last Sunday I had a new experience. It is a common one with those of the creative ilk. It involved lying down on a vinyl-covered bench and having a needle inserted through my ear cartillage. It's the second most painful ear piercing you can get, The Rook. You can google or Youtube.com or Wiki it. My ear is a little tender. Mostly 'cause new piercings attract knocks like black holes attract matter.
I'm also having a sms conversation with Dave. Or a semi-conversation. It's one of those convos that I don't mind having through text messages but that he would rather talk over in person. *sigh* I've binged today....and last night. Lots of sugary crap to poison my system. I feel like a blob. But mostly I feel ashamed and stupid. I have a Personal Trainer who loves me and would do anything for me if ever I asked...but I don't ask because it's something I should be able to control by myself. Right? Right? And Dave is in a precarious situation 'cause he wants to help but doesn't want to be a "poo" (his phrasing, not mine). So now we'll have a real conversation tomorrow...or possibly Saturday, 'cause Youth isn't exactly the best place for a convo and neither is Maccas afterward.
Alrighty, it's getting late. I can't even think straight enough to finish most of my thoughts. Catcha,
Georgie
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So that's all the photos I have so far. These were from Bianca's 21st Masque Ball. This was the weekend before we got together, when I just gave up on kidding myself that we were just friends. I'll see what I can do to try and get one of us together. Mamere has started asking for one, probably so she can send it to her Dad.
On a shallow note, I love my makeup from this night. It was one of those times when I took out my Rae Morris book of Makeup and went to town. Meant I had to search through my bag of goodies to find appropriate pigments, and also to let go of the subtle-is-best approach that I usually use, but it turned out fantastic.
That's all for now. Catcha,
George | | |
| This post has definately been long due. My life has been quite the busy place to be, and instead of jumping onto the computer to blog away the problems and the fears, I found myself in the company of the greatest groupd of friends I've ever been gifted with.
Let's start from a month or so back, shall we? I made a friend. Stalker Dave. In the beginging, everything was cool. He's a bit rough around the edges, loves to use sarcasm and hits a bit too hard for my being a girl. He lives close-by and so we hung out a fair bit. We watched DVDs and once I even got to look after his she-snake, Ratas, while Stalker Dave cleaned her tank. But...it was a friendship that was itching around the edges. And after a lot of drama involving controlling, manipulative texts and jealousy, my girlfriend Megs all-but-dragged me to see the church Counsellor Judy. Judy was amazing. In a way, she stood in the same place for me that April had a few years back; she listened to me and stood by me in the resolve I that I had timiedly made, but was too scared to stand alone.
I am not in contact with Stalker Dave any more. I told him we can't be friends any more, and to his credit he has not stepped over that line. It makes it more difficult that he does go to the same church as I do, that we have a number of the same friends. But I did take Pastor Benny into confidance about the entire issue and voiced my concern that this ordeal could possibly lose Stalker Dave much of the friendship and community he'd found here. (Because, sadly, many of my friends had only put up with him for my sake.) Champion Benny has used a delicacy previously unseen to deal with everything. He's taken Stalker Dave under his wing, keeping him involved and surrounded by good people.
All of that voiced, this has not been all bad. It opened my eyes to some things that I hadn't fully been comprehending. For one, I now know what it's like the be on the recieving end of those text messages. I'd sent very similar messages to Karl a few years back. If it weren't for that being a very closed chapter of my life, I'd want to appologise profusely for the heartache and stress I'd caused. It's a scary thing to see someone try and control you and to know that they are hurting and mentally tearing themselves apart. I'd never realised, and I'm now thankful that I went through that so I could understand this and use slightly more care and tact than had been used with me.
For a second point, this opened my eyes to the wonderful lads I have. Stalker Dave was nigh-violently angry with jealousy when he started to fully comprehend how much my Boys meant to me. A massive row ensued after my mate Danny came back from being away for three months and I gave him a massive hug. And yet another row after a group movie night when I sat in between Stalker Dave and Viking Dave and laughed at the latter's commentary on Wolverine. No one has the right to ask me to give up Dave and Danny! It's taken I long time for me to let God take down the "self-preservation" barriers I'd put up agianst having guy friends.
With that out in the open, my eyes were opened yet again. I can almost kick myself for it. In my eyes, there hadn't been any reason for Stalker Dave's jealousy. Mates were mates, right? But I hadn't seen the closeness that'd come between myself and Viking Dave. And there it was, Bam! in my face. Somewhere between the the chocolate sauce and green slime of Youth Leadership, the rocking and lifting praise to God through the Music teams, and the steady flow and exchange of Terry Pratchett novels, I'd fallen for this guy. And for some odd reason, he thought that that was just the greatest thing ever.
Viking Dave ticks boxes I hadn't been consciously aware of, like having a large vocabulary so that I don't have to explain the words I use, and having the same off-beat humour as my family. There is a sense of security that I've never had before, and because I'm not fearful of getting hurt, I'm not pre-emptively nasty.
The general consensus seems to be, 'What? Really? Huh, never would have put you two together. *thoughtful pause* But yeah, that does fit. Congrats.' My family are cheering that I'm not dating a drop-kick. My friends approve, even when asked bluntly. I've been praying about it a fair bit. Part of me is tempted to not lay down a fleece because it feels so right; but when it comes down to it, when hard times come I want to know beyond a doubt that he was the one that I was meant to be with. Dave and I are trying to do the right thing. We talked to Cam, the Youth Pastor, about what the rules were about dating around the Youth. And we're keeping those In The Know to a small number right at the moment 'cause a baby relationship doesn't need an audience, esp. in the church.
Oh, talking about the church, I've done my every first Worship Leading. Benny asked me if I wanted to do the last bracket in the service, gave me the list of morning and evening songs, and also some info about how to prepare for the service and pray about the songs and such. I was so nervous and I didn't prepare enough for the service, but no major distasters occured. That said, I haven't had a moment to chat with Benny about it yet. That'll happen some time this week.
Work has been interesting too. My boss has taken on the hairsalon at a retirement village that belongs to some of our clients. What it means is that my boss drives to work early so I can take her car and drive several suburbs away and spend the morning with little old ladies. I like it. There is lots of talk about families and books and what they did during the week. I've never done so many Sets in such as small space of time.
Oh! I've been busy on the Award front too. Now I have:
~ TAFE NSW State Medal for Hairdressing '08
~ Hairdressing Cert. III with Distinction
~ Meadowbank TAFE Highest Overall Aggregate Mark- Cert. III Hairdressing '08
~ Meadowbank TAFE Highest Mark- Physiology- Cert. III Hairdressing '08
~ De Lorenzo Student of the Year
I'm torn. I want to tell clientelle because that'll grow their faith in my abilities as a hairdresser and bring more people into the Salon. It makes me a stronger part of the team (of three) because I can pull my weight and earn my wages. But I also don't want the attention that comes from those certificates. It's a God-given gift. I haven't put in enough effort on my own part. They seem to haven fallen into my lap.
Anyway, I need to run. Megs is standing here in our library waiting for me to finish up and do her hair for her Going Away to Canadia party tonight. Catcha,
Georige
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| I befriended Stalker Dave. And I really trust him. It is a strange little problem. How can I be wary when I feel so very comfortable around him? He's well on the way to sitting up there on my list with Valo and Tea. I don't know why I feel the way that I do. I just do.
Also happening is my boss has been confiding in me. She apologised about it, cause it's not my problem. But she's asked me to pray for her marriage all the same. And if the only thing I've helped to be part of at work is to strengthen Amy's faith, then it will be a good thing indeed.
I feel very privilaged to be able to pray for those I care for and even for those I don't. In my friends with Faith I see the results of the prayer quickly. In my friends without I know that there is a harder battle going on beneath the surface. I like that God will use me for His works. One afternoon I sent a random message of love to one of my girlfriends and she sent a message back saying that at that very moment she'd been feeling so utterly friendless. Wow. That's huge. I don't need to know what's happening in her life. I wish I were able to answer those calls more freely. To be actively listening, to be willing to jump without hesitation.
This is all despite of myself. I don't have to Seek Him for Him to use me. I will admit that I haven't and He does all the same.
And I need to go and pick up some material. Catcha, George
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| I found out this afternoon that one of my favourite old ladies isn't going to be coming back from Hospital. She has cancer. Her daughter, a young friend of mine, told me. Gah. I've had a bit of a cry and I've sent a text to my Valo and my Puck and Stalker Dave. (So far only my boys have gotten back to me.) I know I'll be fine and I'm praying for the family.
There has been a very interesting happening in recent weeks. I have a stalker. His name is Dave. So... perhaps he's not quite a legitimate stalker, but he did admit to stalking me at Maccas 'cause I said I might be there after church last Sunday. Dave is a friend of a friend of mine from church. We'd met once or twice at Awaken. As happens with my generation, he was added as a friend on Facebook.com and we swapped mobile numbers (through private messages, of course). A few messages later, I started to freak out. Really nice guy, but he seemed to be very friendly. Very friendly indeed. I don't know what possessed me, but we met for coffee. And I had fun...but was starting to get worried. It wouldn't be the first time that guys have taken my friendliness for friendliness. I really didn't want to ruin a friendship by any...miscommunications. I did make it awkward upfront, or rather, by sms. There was a long conversation when things were hashed out and clarified and I was privately glad the confrontation didn't have to be face to face.
The odd thing for me is that I really do trust Dave. It was hell-awkward this afternoon, but its cool now. *sigh* I don't know why. He's just easy to get along with. Psych students, eh?
Well, I'm off. I want to muck about on the piano before it gets too late. Catcha, George | | |
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